Painful realisation of a new father

The entire planet is witnessing the horrors of the COVID-19 and it is not very often that one gets to hear a good news. However, I have been lucky. My wife gave birth to a little bundle of joy on the October 2, 2020. Birth of my daughter seems to have changed me and my life altogether. I don’t think I have ever been happier or there has been anything else that has filled my heart with so much joy before. Not only is my daughter’s sight a dose of oxytocin (hormone that plays a role in social bonding), but her smile is the ultimate dopamine (hormone that plays a role in pleasure). You see, recreational drugs, such as Methamphetamine, induce dopamine which induce a sense of pleasure in our brain. Slowly, our brain gets used to the previous levels of dopamine and then everything else seems dull and boring – contributing to addiction. Similarly, the sight of my daughter’s smile is a perfect recreational drug – there is nothing else in this world that pleases me more. For example, I recently published an article in a top rated journal and it felt like just a small feat. Previously, having an article accepted for publication, even in an average periodical, used to be a major highlight of my year. I used to be overjoyed and remained in hangover of having published for weeks to come. This time, however, all I cared about was the pictures of my daughter on my phone.

While becoming a parent has made me the happiest person on this planet, I have also found that this happiness is fragile. I find my happiness threatened by every malice in our society that could affect the quality of life of my child. Most of all, I often find my heart crying for children born in poverty and abject conditions. I can hardly bear my child crying for milk when she is hungry which lacerates my heart thinking about the pains of those parents who had to see their children slowly die in their arms from hunger. A few days back, I spent the entire night holding my child because she was in pain after getting her vaccine shots. Just the thought of needles piercing my baby’s skin makes me want to destroy the entire humanity for hurting my daughter, but then I am forced to think of the pains of those innocent kids who were born in troubled regions and had to face bombings and painful separation from their parents. These thoughts are depressing and we are aware of them all; however, it is not until we have a piece of our own flesh and blood in our arms that we empathise so deeply with the rest of the human race, and realise the true value of a happy society for everyone. I know I can’t do much for those poor kids but I have decided that I will save some money every year to donate to UNICEF or WFP. My contribution may not be of much help to those disadvantaged but I just hope that it might assuage the pain that I feel for the rest of our humanity – a very selfish thought though.

Patriotism amidst poverty

Teri Mitti – Tribute by B Praak & Arko on Amazon Music

“Nanhi si  hansi, bholi si Khusi,  bholi si wo baanhein bhool gaye;

Jab desh ne di awaaz humein hum ghar ki wo raahein bhool gaye”

Translates to

That cute laughter, selfless happiness, innocent hug – we forgot that all;

We forgot the road to our homes when the nation came calling.

https://youtu.be/QiBeywmJoRY

Teri Mitti – The Tribute by B Prak and Arko

I do not like this feeling; it rattles me and makes me sad. It is the feeling that makes me feel connected to my country. The patriotic feel that aches my heart and makes me want to die for my motherland. This song has that effect on me. It is a newer version of an already popular song and pays tribute to Corona warriors who are serving humanity during this difficult time.

I remember this ache in my heart clearly. Two years ago, it was this pain that had made me leave a luxurious life in Canada and join a job in an agricultural university in a remote part of India. High with patriotic romanticism, I wanted to bring change. Unfortunately, things changed gradually, and I became just another contestant in the rat-race to accrue points for job promotion and salary hike. Today, after listening to this song and with an ache in my heart, I am wondering what changed me. I look around for answers. All I can see is poverty. I see poor walking on the roads with determined steps—people, half-naked, and perhaps even a bit worried. I am not sure if this worry on their faces is because of the scare of contracting SARS-CoV-2 infection or is it about finding just enough money to buy food for their families. I see people living in huts with goats tied outside. I am dazzled by a woman darting towards a pool of rainwater on the middle of the tarred road while lifting her child from one arm. She drops the child right in the middle of the pool and uses the water to wash the feces on her child and then gets back to her daily chores. I witness this abject poverty every day, but today I am forced to wonder what these people think about their duties towards the nation. I am lucky that I do not have to think about the resources to purchase my next meal, but I still dare to compare my life with the lives of the poor around me and try to draw some parallels.

We all have the well-being of our nation in our hearts, but how often do we think about taking active steps to bring that positive change in our society. Today, I am forced by a song to think about my duties towards my country, and it is mostly when the country is battling tough times we are reminded of our civic responsibilities. But what about other days? These people around me begin to give me the answers.

An average India, poor or well-to-do, is stuck between the grinding stones of fulfilling the duties towards his family. An average Indian is not selfish – instead, he is working selflessly to provide for his family. Today, when the entire nation is on a lock-down, thousands still throng the streets, braving police action and death from Covid, to feed their families. The lock-down might have broken the chain of spread of SARS-CoV-2, but it also definitely has broken the economy and forced millions further into hunger and poverty. Therefore, India is not what they must be thinking at this moment. Nation is a concept that revolutionaries think about. Patriotism is a concept that survives on freedom from family responsibilities. I would be happy to die for the nation, and so will millions out there, but then who will feed our families. Perhaps, after I came back to India from Canada, I was overwhelmed by the pressure to perform and impress seniors. It is my performance that will determine my professional success so that I can earn more and afford all those luxuries that I so desperately want me and my family to have. Now, if I think really hard, there is a difference between me and those people around me – they have forgotten the nation so to focus on ‘earning‘ basics and I have forgotten it so that I can ‘enjoy’ the basics.